Shonda Rhimes, writer of Scandal, my opiate, also penned the underwhelming Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand In the Sun and Be Your Own Person, which, despite my critique, is actually an extremely valid text about vibin’ high and and living your life like the old Nike saying to “Just do It.”
I absolutely love Rhimes’ edict that “there are no rules. Happiness comes from living as you need to, as you want to. As your inner voice tells you to. Happiness comes from being who you actually are instead of who you think you are supposed to be.” Absolute gold.
That tattoo you’ve always wanted? Get it.
The band you’ve always wanted to see? Go see ‘em.
Dance lessons? Why in the hell not?
Public speaking? Hand over that mic!
Rhimes’ inspiration to say yes prompted me to dig around in my past and have a real good think on all the “Nos” I’ve issued in my lifetime and there have been a lot. Like, some 30 years of one no-thank-you after another.
Here’s what made the shortlist:
- The White Water Rafting Trip
- Kissing my crush under the canopy of stars in the thicket
- Taking that job in Northern Canada
- Backpacking Europe
- Buying the two-piece-bikini
When I added up all of the wild ‘n’ crazy things I took a pass on in my years of becoming an expert in N-O, it all amounted to a giant W-T-F.
Why? Why on earth had I said no to so much? Fear. This is an ugly four letter word that messes with each of us on the daily. Fear is what each pass on life boils down to. And I bet that when you examine your own list of No, you’ll come to a similar conclusion about why you didn’t take the leap because fear is this scare-based-play-it-safe mentality which quietly needles its way into our psyches until we politely decline the opportunities presented to us that have potential to truly raise our frequencies.
But fears and N-O’s don’t define me anymore. And they shouldn’t define your story either. Nope; sometimes you gotta be in the here ‘n’ now and just say Y-E-S. Eleanor Roosevelt, purported to have spoken these words, is so damn right when she encourages people to “do one thing every day that scares you”. And Mastin Kipp takes it all to one ginomrous kick-ass step further when he says that we should all make a list of the top 10 things that scare the living shit out of us and do the very first thing on that list today. Like, really, just go for it and tackle it head on.
I’m obviously not suggesting that you take off for the trip of a lifetime to Bali when your single BFF offers to take you along for the ride and you’ve got legit obligations at home to say, pick your kids up from school by five or something, but I am encouraging you to give a little less thought to the voice in your head telling you not to do something in place of a yes. And maybe you can’t afford impulsivity anymore, but perhaps you can go home and research some amazing travel destinations in Bali and then book that trip for yo self. You wanna go?
Make. It. Happen.
Similarly, when you venture across someone who has a really neat opportunity for you, take it. No, seize it. Make it yours. Because it quite possibly could be the most fun you will ever have. And when you’re energized about something that totally jazzes you up, you’re vibin’ high. And when you’re vibin’ high, you’ve raised your frequency. And when your frequency is hollering out to the world that you are living your truest version of yourself, you’ll attract more ‘n’ more of that awesome into it.
Make a Yes List.
So how do you know if you’re taking full advantage of the biggest yes ever? Your heart’ll palpitate, and your palms will become tsunamis of sweat and your brain will slow you down to a hazy crawl whilst wildly whispering, umm, maybe not. And that’s when you gotta look life square in the eye and say: fuck-yeah, let’s do this!
And then, yes, magic.
Xo, unleighshed potential